Our story isn’t like many others. We both didn’t meet in first grade. We didn’t graduate middle school together or obsess over our first crushes.
My best friend and I were two 14 year-olds who just happened to sit across each other on the school bus on the first day of 9th grade. Our friendship was unlikely. I had just moved cities, and all my old friends were only 15 minutes away. Only. 15. Minutes. Away. What was I doing there anyways?
Nervous, emotional, and very scared of high school, I spoke to no one and glared through the bus window at the new city I was cast into. As all my freshman classmates confidently waltzed into their first period classes, I saw someone who looked equally as lost as I was. Hesitant but ready to strike up conversation, I introduced myself.
Suddenly, high school wasn’t so scary.
This girl and I clicked instantly. We spoke for hours on the phone about One Direction and our favorite tv show. Her parents were divorced like mine! Her birthday was only 2 weeks before mine! She was funny and had braces just like me! She loved singing and I loved playing guitar! A perfect duo.
Our relationship continued for nearly two years. We slept over at each other’s houses regularly. We dazzled at the talent show. We were the best couple at our Homecoming dance. Her infectious personality and charm made me a more confident student and person.
In only a year, we were inseparable. There was nothing that my best friend didn’t know about me.
***
When you spend every day talking to someone, you realize when things change. Unfortunately when I realized, it was too late.
She had found her niche of friends, and I wasn’t one of them. She was my niche. But what are you supposed to do when your best friend doesn’t want her title anymore? This hit me harder than I would ever like to admit. Of course I had other friends, but none of them truly understood me the way she did. When I found a funny joke online, who would I share those giggles with? When I lost my best friend, I felt support less.
Worse was, I never noticed that I was being used. Whenever she needed someone to talk to, I would always lend an ear. I was never granted the same courtesy. Every time I tried to get my old best friend back, I was hurt. She didn’t want to be changed.
Keeping her in my life caused more pain than anything else.
It took more than 6 months to realize that my old friend was completely gone. It was hard. I had other friends, but seeing her would always bring back my feelings. It was like drawing in the sand, only to have the words disappear when the sea rushed back onto the land. It was useless to even try.
How could she throw away a friendship so strong in a matter of seconds?
Over time, I’ve realized that it’s nearly inevitable to lose a friend. High school is the time for change and discovery, and I believe that in the last 3 years, I have learned more about friendship, its importance, and myself than I ever thought possible.
Here is some advice: Just let go. You’ll never know who you’ll meet or become friends with. This world is filled with best friends. As cliché as it may sound, it’s true: If you love a friend, set them free. If they come back, they’re your friend forever; if they don’t, they never were.
by Tara Paranjpe