I told my best friend how I felt about her, she rejected me, and now I feel bad.

Male, 13 years old, Canada

Question/Issue:

A few days ago, I told my best friend my feelings for her, and she rejected me. I’m feeling bad and that’s hard. We’re still best friends, but how do I get out of it?

Teen Line Wrote:

Thanks so much for contacting Teen Line. I’m so glad you reached out for help. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. It takes so much courage to tell a girl how you feel about her, and I’m so sorry that you didn’t get what you wanted out of it. It must be so hard to be so close to her while she says she doesn’t feel the same way. You deserve so much more.

I understand that it would really bother you to be stuck only being best friends with this girl that you really like. And while it must be really tough for you to experience such a heart-breaking rejection, I really hope you are taking care of yourself. While it sounds like you are not receiving the love that you want from someone so important to you, it is important that you continue self care and surround yourself with people that treat you the way you deserve to be treated. If you noticed that you are feeling overwhelmed by everything that has changed, sad or angry about your best friend, there are many things you could do to help clear your mind. Things like being with people that you love and feel loved by, doing your favorite activities, exercising, listening to music, playing with a pet, watching your favorite show, meditating, or writing in a journal are all things that many find helpful in getting to a better place and gaining peace of mind. Journaling can be especially helpful, as it can help you release all of your thoughts and feelings out of your mind and onto paper. This way, you can better organize and understand your thoughts, and keep from holding everything in.

Another thing you could do that, like journaling, would help you to release your feelings could be talking to someone that ou trust about everything that has been going on. Especially since it must be hard to talk about these feelings with your best friend. I’m wondering if you have anyone else that you could talk to about this issue. Someone like a sibling, parent, close friend, distant family member, teacher, or school counselor could be really good to open up to. Since these people know you better, they may be able to give you better advice in how you should go about making your relationship what you want it to be.

You seem like a great guy, and I would hate that the fact this girl (who seemingly really likes being friends with you) wants to keep it at that level is getting you down. You can look into more ways to cope with this problem here https://au.reachout.com/articles/building-coping-skills. You could also check out this online therapist, Kati Morton, who offers advice on anything from sadness, to relationship problems, to abuse: :https://www.youtube.com/user/KatiMorton

If you feel like talking to another teen about this issue, you are more than welcome to call us at 310-855-4673 or text “TEEN” to 839863 from 6-9pm PST. You are also welcome to contact our message board at  teenlineonline.org/board, where you can chat with people who may be experiencing similar things.

Again, I’m so sorry that this girl is not ready to take the relationship further right now. I hope you keep in mind that her decision should not make you think any less of yourself, and that her feelings may not be permanent. I truly hope she comes to realize what she is missing out on, and that you keep strong and kept up by the people around you until that time.

I hope this helped.

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