13 year old, Female, United States
TEEN LINE QUESTION/PROBLEM:
I've been having a lot of thoughts about hurting other people, and it isn't only when I'm angry; its all the time. I don't think other people think about killing the way I do but I've thought like this as long as I can remember. I've taken screenings and read numerous books in a semi-attempt to help myself without others, and coupling this with hours of self contemplation and thought I've come to the conclusion that bipolar disorder as well as depression may be a problem as well. I'm not at risk for suicide, however I had been cutting for about a month before my mom found out and chastized me for it. I haven't cut since then, although I can feel the impulse to every now and then when I start feeling numb or blank. I do not want to tell my family however in order to recieve professional I help would have to. The only solution I can think of to receive help and some sort of evaluation specified to me and my issues is to find an anonymous online source, however I am having some difficulty in doing so, which brings me to my point: are there any teen or children's mental health organizations with a website through which I can contact a professional that you know of? I would use a chatroom for support however
1) I don't feel this would help me much
2) I honestly feel like talking to them would set them off and I don't want to INADVERTENTLY kill someone.
3) I would feel like I'm seeking needless attention or like the people in the chat room would think of me that way. Already writing the letter is making me apprehensive enough, but I've written this much of it so there isn't much pointing in deleting it and sulking off to my corner...
Any help or references you could offer would be greatly appreciated.
TEEN LINE WROTE: