TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
I didn't know whether to put this question in Abuse&Violence, or Relationships, because it involves both. I'm a girl, 14. I'm in a sexual relationship with an older guy. I love him, very dearly. He's very sweet, and understanding. He cares about me, when I get sick he worries more about me than I do. But, I feel like I don't deserve him. You see, I'm what most people would classify as a 'sadist' or just 'Sadistic'. When we have sex, I cut his arms, not hard, but...Just enough to make him bleed and whimper. People don't understand how beautiful a torturous scream is to me. I don't know if it's the power, the beautiful sigh of his blood, the excitement, or just making him hurt, but, I can't stop. One time I went as far as to slide needles in his stomach. Not very deep, but, almost 2 centimeters. He never complains, he does'nt fight back. I can't stop doing this but I want to, I really, really want to. If my mother knew I was like this, she'd disown me in a snap.

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Thanks so much for contacting TEEN LINE. Wow, it sounds like you are really conflicted with this situation, and I'm so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this alone. It's great that you wrote to us about your concerns becuase the actions your describe could be quite dangerous and harmful to your friend. You could accidentally hurt your friend very badly and potentially have lasting negative outcomes. It seems to me like you really want to stop and you don't have to figure this out alone. There is an organization called Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and they deal with helping others curb obsessive compulsive patterns such as yours. You can find a meeting near you by going to this website: http://www.localslaa.org/node/7, and if it is easier for you, you can also call their hotline. You can choose which one works best for you by going to this website: http://www.localslaa.org/node/17. I can imagine how hard this must be for you to experience, but like I said, you are not alone. Aside from calling the hotline, maybe you could tell someone close to you. Maybe a therapist, friend, or a really close family member. It may make you feel better. In the meantime, feel free to call us if you have any questions or just want to talk. We are open every night from 6 to 10 PM Pacific Standard Time, and our number is 310 855 4673. You can also live chat with us at TeenlineOnline.org. Thanks so much and I hope everything works out.

Sincerely,

a TEEN LINE listener

TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
I was raped. And I'm sure you have heard this many times but please just show me how i should deal with this. Do not say go to the cops beacause they do not do anything. I do not feel like me. And i feel low. But the thing is it happed about a year and a half ago. they stole my virginity. so from then i on i hate to say but just start fucking around with people. a lot of drugs. i was Bp(baby prostitue) please i hate what i have become but i do not know how to stop. I AM HIGH AS WE SPEAK.

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey thanks so much for opening up to TEEN LINE. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of varied emotions right now, and that you are feeling understandably overwhelmed by everything that has happened. Please understand that your reaction to the sexual abuse you have suffered is normal, and that no matter what you have done this is not your fault. Many victims of rape, who do not recieve counseling and proper care, deal with issues such as addiction and advanced sexuality. It is extremely commendable that you are seeking help and facing all of these emotions head on, which takes a lot of courage. I strongly encourage you to talk to some one about everthing that you are going through, whether it is a school counselor, a trusted adult or a friend. Simply getting all of these emotions and confusions off of your chest can be extremely helpful. If you are interested in recieving more specialized counseling, please call RAINN (800-656-4673). They will be able to give you more specific assistance, and I think you will find it to be really helpful. Also, please feel free to call TEEN LINE, our listeners would be happy to speak with you. We are open every night from 6 to 10 pm PST and our number is 310-855-4673.

a TEEN LINE listener

TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
I think my dad is emotionally abusing me, and I don't know what to do. Recently, it's gotten to the point of him yelling and cursing at me and my mom. He blames me for all of our problems, and spends hours arguing to me to "make sure I understand what I did wrong". All of my friends, and even some adults at our church think that he is a perfectionist, and we think he may be having an affair with my god-sister's mom. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of crying on a daily basis. I'm just so scared of what he'll do to me if he finds out I'm getting help. I'm terrified of him.

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey, thanks for emailing TEEN LINE. It sounds like youre going through a really tough situation with your dad and the way hes treating you. Im so sorry that you have to go through that, because no one deserves to be hurt emotionally or in any way. Im wondering if you talked to anyone else about the way your dad has been treating you? You could talk to a close friend, teacher, or school counselor. I can only imagine how scary it must be to have to worry about if he finds out. Here is a number for the Childhelp National Child Abuse Helpline, and if things ever get bad and you want things to change, you can call them and they might be able to help you with the situation your in. The number is 800-422-4453 and its a 24 hour hotline. You mentioned that you think your dad might be having an affair, have you told anyone about that? It must be frustrating having to keep things in, so talking to others about whats going on can really help sometimes. You can also always call or livechat with TEEN LINE. Our number is (310) 855-4673 and were open everyday from 6-10pm PST.

a TEEN LINE teen

TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
my cousin touches me and i think hes going to do something to me.. but i cant seem to find it in myself to tell my parents.. i cant get raped AGAIN.

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey,

Thanks so much for contacting TEEN LINE. I can't imagine what position you are in right now. It seems like you are feeling really frightened and concerned about what your cousin may do to you. Even though it must be really difficult to tell your parents about how your own cousin treats you, I strongly encourage you to open up to your parents about this (or any other adult who can handle this situation). They can end up being a really great support system and do something about this situation. It is not ok to be touched or raped. This is actually considered child abuse, when someone is touching and hurting you without your consent. You can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800 422 4453. They are open 24 hours a day and they offer counseling and referrals. Also, have you thought about confronting your cousin about this? It is important to stand up for your safety right now and tell him NO in a confident and strong voice. If you feel like you still can't talk to your parents about this, you can maybe try writing a letter, if that works better for you. You can also speak to therapists, school counselors, of anyone else who you think you can talk to about this and get help. If you ever feel like you need to talk about this or that you are in trouble, you can always call TEEN LINE. We are open every night from 6pm to 10pm PST and you can talk to us about anything. Our number is 800 852 8336.

a TEEN LINE teen

TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
I am 17 years old and i was raised by my grandparents.I am being abused by my older brother who is 18. They won't do anything about it. I am afraid to be at home alone or live with him. They won't kick him out and talking to him doesn't fix anything. He hits me, and slaps me and even threatens me with a knife. He shoves me and is very mean to me. He does anything to put me down. I feel very depressed and I'd kill myself just to get a way from him. They won't let me go move in with another relative. I need help! What do you advise me to do?

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey, thanks for contacting TEEN LINE. You must be feeling really trapped right now between your grandparents and your brother! It is horrible that he constantly threatens you and abuses you both verbally and physically. It's even worse that your grandparents aren't supporting your situation. This sounds like child abuse and may be reportable. It might be a good and helpful idea to call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-422-4453 to get help. Also, it seems like you are lacking a support system right now. You mentioned that you would consider committing suicide just to get out of this situation. Your safety is really important and it might be a better idea to think that through to realize the long term effects it would have on you and everyone else around you. Have you tried talking about another adult about this? A school counselor? Teacher? Older relative (cousin, aunt, uncle, etc)? Also, since you are 17, you will become a legal adult at 18. Then if you wanted, you'd have the option of leaving your grandparents' house and living on your own. If you wanted to talk more about this, you could always call us at TEEN LINE at 310 855 4673. We are open every night from 6pm to 10pm PST. TEEN LINE is confidential. Thanks.

a TEEN LINE teen