TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
okay so. haha. i first met C______ in the summer. we started dating and dated up until november because he said he wasn't happy so we broke up. C______'s mixed into drugs and sex, and i'm not. he tried to get me to have sex with him but i wouldnt' because i didn't believe that he would stay. he also had a temper that was knocked out of control at the dumbest things. hes never really come out and hit me, but he has pushed me. we broke up for a month or so, but had so many fights it was unbelieveable. but i was in love with him, so when he wanted to try things again so did i. we dated for a week, and everything seemed like it was going to be okay. C________ was talking to me about drugs and how if he ever came down he could bring some weed with him for me and my friends. i dont normally do it, barely ever. like, twice a year maybe. but C________ wanted too, so i told him maybe. my mom read my text messages because she said she felt i was hiding something from her. she fliped out and me, and i broke up with C________ that night because i didnt think mom was ever going to trust me and let me see him. she felt really bad for making me do that, but she thought it was for the better. i found out C________ had completely lied to me about quiiting drugs at all, in fact he had been doing more then just weed. i was torn. me and C_________ have been broken up for almost a month and a half now, and its been hell. i've been so depressed, and upset, to the point where i cut myself one night because of how much pain i was feeling. C_________ is my first real love, and i feel so attached to him. Just recently C_______ wanted to try to get back together. Hes trying to convince me that hes changed, he even told me that he told his mother everything that hes done and shes going to be way more protective. But i'm really worried its going to end up like the last few times, constant fighting. I love him so much, so its making it really hard to decid. Moms not totally for it, shes trying to change my mind but i really dont know what to do. help?
TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey thanks for contacting TEEN LINE. When you love somebody it is really hard to let go, especially when you have been through so much with a person, like you have with your boyfriend. It really does seem that you have invested so much with him, so have you considered talking to him about how you feel about his behavior, how frustrating it is, hard to deal with, and scared you are that he isnt going to change. Perhaps telling him, loud and clear, whats been going on could really help, it could be an email or a phone call, and let him know honestly all you have been feeling. Unfortunately drugs are common, and it can be difficult to make someone stop once they have started. You mentioned that your boyfriend has a quick temper, I know you said that he has never hit you however If he ever does I would really encourage you to tell somebody about it, cause no matter how much you love him, I'm sure you know it is never ok to hit someone. Also, it might help just talk to talk to someone in general about your boyfriend. Can you talk to a friend or family member? You also said you cut, and it did seem like you were going through a lot, however cutting can be dangerous and I want to make sure you're safe. If you ever have the urge to cut again, or just want to talk about it I would really encourage you to tell somebody, a trusted adult, or school counselor, or call a hotline that specializes in self injury like Safe Alternatives, their number is: 800 366 8288 and they are open 24 hours. You seem like a really smart girl, and I really think you willl make a choice that is best for you. If you have anymore questions feel free to chat with us online. We're open from 6-10pm PST.
a TEEN LINE teen
