Jun 23rd, 2014 | Ask TEEN LINE, Depression & Suicide, Gay, Lesbian, Bi & Transgender, Help Online, Relationships, bisexual, depression, family, gay, LGBT, parents, Self-Esteem, sexual orientation, suicide, suicide prevention, support, teen issues, teenager issues, teens
17 year old, Male, NM
Hello Teen Line, the simple act of writing this message is a great relief to me. I have been in different stages of depression. For the past 4 years now I have encountered many problems and I just don’t know what to do. It all started 4 years ago when my mother had come out of the closet. My parents were never married and I had been originally spending weekdays with mom and weekends with dad. However, when my mother came out my whole life rocked and shifted. She had fallen madly in love with her partner, sometimes leaving me 4 or 5 nights out of the week at my grandmother’s house so she can go see her. I felt so alone and abandoned but my grandmother comforted me. This went on for about two years, until she announced that she and her partner had bought a house together. I was quickly taken away to the next town over where I was miserable at the new house. Although I was in the same house as my mother I still felt ignored because she would never leave her partner’s side. It got to the point that I told her I couldn’t handle it anymore, and had the visitation rights revised so I could spend a week at my dad’s and a week with my mom. Overall I was still very unhappy and It got to the point where I had contemplated suicide. In addition to all of my family problems and thoughts of suicide I have come to discover my sexual orientation. At first I thought I was bisexual but actually now I am leaning towards being gay. I am so ashamed and I cannot tell anyone because I am scared that people won’t like me. Despite everything I feel that this message has given me tremendous help in the sense that someone might read it and I will not be the only one in the world who knows these things. Even if you cannot offer advice I am at ease because at least someone will read it. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you and the entire organization.
TEEN LINE WROTE:
I’d first like to thank you for contacting us here at Teen Line and I wanted to let you know that you are so brave for reaching out. I’m so glad that writing to us has given you some relief and we are more than happy to provide support to you during this time. You mentioned that your depression has been going on for four years and it started when your mom came out and you also said it has gotten worse since she moved in with her partner, from what you’re saying it sounds like you feel alone and everyone deserves to be acknowledged and heard. I’m so sorry you felt so alone or miserable and I wanted you to know that you are so strong for fighting through all of this. Some websites I suggest you take a look at are: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2 This one is about parents, families, friends, and allies for LGBT people, since you mentioned you felt like you couldn’t tell anyone about your sexuality. Another thing I suggest is that you find a reliable support group since you feel so alone. If there’s a trusted friend, a family therapist, or a school counselor you can confide in them I highly suggest you do so. You said that your belief in God has stopped you in the past from suicide but if those thoughts become too overpowering you definitely should call the suicide prevention hotline which is open 24 hours and they can be reached at 877-727-4747. If you need anymore support you can definitely call in at 310-855-4673 anytime between 6-10 pm PST. Or you can always visit our message boards at http://teenlineonline.org/boards/. I’m so sorry it took us two days to respond to your email and I hope I’ve been helpful.
a TEEN LINE teen