TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
I'm not sure where to begin. I'm 14 turning 15 and most of my life I've been attracted to guys. I had my first crush on a girl when I was in 3rd grade. I'm not sure if it was an actual crush or if it was just to make everyone think that I wasn't gay. This is really hard for me to sit here and let people that I don't even know read this. Recently, I tried to tell my best friend/cousin. We've been close since we were born. I texted it to her on my phone but she didn't believe me. She thought I was joking so, finally, I just told her that it was a joke and that someone dared me to do it. I just need someone to talk to; someone who can relate to what I'm going through. There's no way that I can tell my parents, family, or anyone at school. I'm just afraid of rejection I guess. Also, my parents have been going through alot (financially). They hae been very depressed and if they found out about me it would just break their hearts. I know that they love me but sometime I wonder if they would if I told them. Sometimes, out of the blue, I'll find myself on gay websites. I am so ashamed but I can't control it. At school, there are some people that have suspected that I am gay. I deny it everytime. All of my friends are girls. I really only have friends in school. I have no one to hang out with in my neighborhood so I thought I would try and join this website. If anyone wants to post anything for me to read, feel free. I'll be there for you if you'll be there for me.

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey there thanks for contacting us here at Teen Line. It sounds like what you're going through is tough. Even though you may at times feel alone it's important you realize that aren't. Many people go through this. Is there anyone you can talk to? Even though you say theres no one, is it possible you would be interested in talking to a school counselor.You said you can't tell your friends or parents but what would happen if you tried. Do you have any gay friends that you could talk to or confide in? A great way to find gay friends and get support is if you can find a Gay- Straight Alliance at your school, or be in contanct with a Gay-Straight alliance through www.gsanetwork.org. If you are interested there is a gay and lesbian youth talkline; the number is 866-488-7386, they could be very helpful as well. Teenline is also always available. We are open everyday from 6-10pm PST our number is 1-800-TLC-TEEN.

From, A Teen Listener