Youth Yellow Pages: Death & Dying
“My friend who I hadn’t talked to in 5 years died and I feel like I had more to say to him.” - 19 year old
Grief happens when we experience a loss. It might be a
loss because of a death, but we can also experience grief
over other kinds of loss.
For example:
- The loss of health when illness strikes yourself or a loved one.
- The loss of our family as we know it when a divorce happens.
- The loss of a home to fire, the loss of a good friend who moves far away.
Grieving is not an easy thing to do. Most of the things we’re taught about grieving are just plain wrong. For example, time does not heal; waiting for the pain to go away doesn’t heal the pain. Although it’s normal to want to ignore or blot out feelings of pain, this is not what will heal us.
What heals the pain and feelings of loss is action. And one of the best actions you can take is to talk to someone who is non-judgmental and who won’t try to “fix” you.
Some ways to help a grieving friend:
- Just listen. Try to be non-judgmental.
- If you don’t know what to say, just say “I’m sorry about your loss.”
- Don’t try to replace the loss. If your friend has lost a pet, a new one is probably not what they want right now. They need time to grieve the loss of the old pet.
- Be aware that holidays and anniversary dates are especially hard times for grievers. If it seems right, let them know you’re there for them at these times, too, not just during the time the loss occurred.
See also Counseling, page 24. Most counseling centers offer grief support counseling.
I Count Too ......................................................................... 626-397-3600
M-F 9am-5pm
www.hospiceofpasadena.org
Support group for children and adolescents who have loved ones with
life threatening illness. Group provides education about death, illness
and treatment. Grief support.
Kids Can Cope..................................................................... 323-564-7911
M-F 8am-6pm
FREE cancer support group for children ages 4-19 at three Kaiser
Permanente locations.
Loved Ones Victim Services................................................. 310-337-7006
M-F 9-5pm; also 2nd M-F 9am-5pm
www.healinglovedoneshearts.org
and 4th Saturday 9-5pm.
FREE teen group meeting twice a month. Counseling for those who
have experienced a family member's or friend's homicide. Group,
individual and family counseling. Accompany to court.
Our House (West LA Location) .............................................................. 310-475-0299
M-F 9am-5pm M-F 9am-5pm
www.ourhouse-grief.org
Woodland Hills Location: (818) 592-4080
Bereavement counseling for children, adolescents and adults.
Teen Impact ...................................................................... 323-669-4660
M-F 10am-5pm M-F 9am-5pm
www.teenimpactprogram.com
Support group for adolescents and young adults with cancer on and
off treatment. Bilingual.
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