TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
My life sucks. My two best friends are(let's call them)Eric and Andrew. I go to a boarding school. But on weekends we're allowed to leave school grounds, long as we're back by 10PM (unless we get a permission slip signed by a teacher to stay out later). Anyway, my parents were murdered. Two of the main teachers threaten to hurt me and they say not to tell anyone or else. Andrew (who, by the way, has been my boyfriend for 2 years) keeps getting sick. He has a deadly disease. He could die any moment. Eric, Andrew, and I sometimes get in fights, because Eric's in love with me (which I found out) and he gets upset if Andrew puts his arm around me or something. It's hardly happening now, but it just feels weird knowing my bestest friend is in love with me. School got really stressful, and since I'm one of the top students (my lowest grade ever is 96%), the teachers always expect the best of me. I started cutting, and Eric found out because my sleeve went up. He told me to stop, but I never did. I started smoking and drinking, and I've actually passed out from getting too drunk. I've attempted suicide once, but Eric caught me (Andrew was in the school hospital). There's no conseular at our school. I think I've been diagnosed with depression, and that I might have some serious anger issues, because I'll get really mad over stupid stuff. My friends are trying to help me, and one time they both tried dragging me to the school hospital, but I fought my way off. Someone told the school nurse, but I'm a good actress so I said they were lying. I'm afraid that I'll make a stupid mistake and commit suicide or die from loss or blood or getting too drunk. Now I'm crying so sorry for bad typing. Please help! I want to get better!

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Hey, thank you so much for e-mailing TEEN LINE. It really sounds like you have a lot going in your life, with everything piling up on top of each other. I'm so sorry about your loss, and it sounds like you're having to deal with so much without your parents. It seems like their deaths have really affected the way you think and live your life, and that you have thought about death yourself. The main concern is your safety and well-being, and suicidal thoughts could lead to something even more serious. Suicide is something permanent that can't be undone, and it affects people all around you. It sounds like your depression, anger and cutting are causing you to think about killing yourself. I really want you to call us at TEEN LINE so we can talk about this more, but I'm also going to give you a referral to the Suicide Prevention Hotline who specializes in coping with suicide. Their number is 1(877)-727-4747.

With your boyfriend in the hospital with a deadly disease, it seems like you are having to deal with so much stress that doesn't even pertain to you; however it's totally normal to feel this way about someone who's going through a hard time and is close to you. On top of all that, you have your best friend who is in love with you, which just adds more to your plate. I really encourage you to talk to someone about these problems, like a therapist. If you call your local health clinic or school hospital, they can reccommend you to one.

Teachers threatening you is a very serious issue, and that needs to be handled immediately. It puts you in danger, and it also puts the teachers in danger. Talking to a trusted family member or school administrator would be a great step. This is not normal for a teacher to threaten a student, and it needs to be addressed immediately for your safety. You can also call us to talk more about this.

As with drinking and smoking, there could be a lot of peer pressure from your friends and people at school, which is very hard to deal with as well. Drinking and smoking is also dangerous to your health and addiction is possible. There are hotlines like Al-Anon that specialize in this field and could talk to you more about it. Their number is 1(800)-356-9996.

Also, please feel free to call us anytime. We are a confidental, anonymous and free hotline. Your problems are not that light, and talking to you personally would be more effective than communicating over the internet. Our number is 1(310)-855-4673 and we are available from 6-10 pm P.S.T. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, you can Live Chat with us.

We hope to hear from you soon,
TEEN LINE