TEEN QUESTION/PROBLEM:
i cut alot and i can't seem to stop. it's changed my dieting, i dont want to eat so i skip most of my meals, but my grades are still good. my parents think i lie all the time, so i know they won't take this seriously. i've been to 2 psychologists because my mom thought it would help me deal with my parents divorce a couple years ago, and no one even knew. i have serious trust issues and i broke up with my last 5-month boyfriend because he thought the suicide thoughts were just like everyone else's and that they would eventually go away. i've been thinking about suicide since i was 9 and a half, when i first started cutting myself. i don't think my problem's that serious, but i don't want to kill myself because i think it's a sin and i don't want to hurt anyone, that's why i havent told any of my friends or family. lately, it's gotten worse, i can't seem to stop cutting my arms, and i can't wear short sleeves anymore. i have to ad mit that i love the blood part, but when i say that, i sound kinda crazy. i dont love myself, and i think my parents just think it's a phase because i know they've seen my arm at least once or twice the last couple years. i had stopped for the last 3 years, but for the wrong reasons. i was to lazy to hide the cuts but didn't want anyone to know about them. i started again about 5 months ago and i know it's because im really depressed. i would say everythings okay in my life, but it's not. i hate complaining about things like my life because there are probably people without anything and here i am saying life sucks with a psp in my hands. anyway, my mom thinks all i can do is lie and that everything i do is just a phase. she's a teacher and doesn't even let me on her computer, she has a password and everything because when i was ten i went online and saw stuff i shouldn't have. my dad laughs at everything i say, and my stepmom thinks she's my mom. they all think that i have serious problems, but it all involves lying. i got grounded because i talked back to my dad and my parents think im the worst kid in the world because i didn't apologize, which i always do because im always feeling guilty. im not allowed to wear makeup, go out with friends to the mall or anywhere else without an adult, and going online must be supervised unless im at my dad's. i wasn't allowed to wear highheels till a couple months ago and im not allowed to get a drivers license. and i swear my friends think im the goody-goody child of the year. i need help.

TEEN LINE WROTE:
Thanks for contacting TEEN LINE. I'm really glad that you are reaching out for help. I am really concerned for your health and your life. Cutting is very dangerous and can be fatal.

Do you have other ways to help cope with your stress and depression? Some people find journaling, running, or talking to someone about the pain helpful. Some find drawing a red line where they would normally cut and then rub the area with ice useful. Finding a new way to cope with your stress is really important.

Cutting is not a safe way to deal. It seems like you feel lost and like no one cares about you. All of us at TeenLine do care about you. I, specfically, am really worried about you. Have you tried talking to your friends or a school counselor? Most schools have counselors and they are there to help people like you. Do you have any relatives that you are close with that you could talk to when you are feeling like you need to cut? It seems like having someone who would listen and take you serious would be comforting.

Have you though about going to a therapist more regularly? They would be there to talk to you and help you work through cutting and to talk to you about family problems. You being able to stop cutting for 3 years shows how much strength you have to stop at all. I have faith in you to be able to stop for good. What helped you stop last time? Do you think these things could help you stop again? Also, a good way to find people who have a lot in common with you and potentially could be a good friend or someone to talk to is joining a club or afterschool activity.

Is there something you like doing a lot that may be a club at your school or local Youth center? Finding things to do to keep yourself busy and also meet new people could be helpful. I'm so proud of you for wanting to work through this and find a better way to deal with the issues you are dealing with right now. It seems like you have some frustrating situations, like how your parents deal with you and talk to you. It must be really hard that they don't take you seriously. It seems like there is a lot of conflict at home and strain on your relationship because of your parents being divorced. But, you don't need to go through this situation alone. You can talk about all of these issues with a therapist/psychologist and they can help you discover how best to deal with them.

You said you have already been to two psychologists and sometimes it is difficult to open up. This is why it is really important that you find one you feel comfortable talking to. I also encourage you to visit the website kidshealth.com. They have a section about cutting. Or you can also go to selfinjury.com to get more information.

If you need someone to talk to you can always call us at TEEN LINE at 310-852-8336. We are open ever yday from 6-10 PM pst.
-A TEEN LINE teen