screw up

[tgordn]

so i'm 17 years old, played football and baseball and decent at other sports, can get girls.. i dont mean to look like a tool bag, but im just trying to let you know me.. i think i have known for a while that i am different... i can remember back to elementary school times being treated differently, but that isnt really the problem. the problem is me.. i am a screw up. i am attracted to other guys.. i am pretty sure that my parents have gotten hints, but never really a definite sign that says "YOU'RE SON IS GAY". but whatever. my mom is extremely religious, i know she is against gays. if i ever came out to her she would flip.. ive seen her cry because of me getting into trouble with drugs and alcohol, but this news would break her. i can barely stand to see anything go wrong with her. i couldnt do that to her.. im pretty sure that i will never come out to my family. i feel like it would be better if i just stay under, ya know? i dont wanna cause any trouble for them.. but anyway, my friends always joke about me being gay. i know that theyre kidding and i try to just shrug it off, but it hurts me. usually i just get too messed up to remember any of it. and what i do remember i take out by cutting or some stupid thing like that. i know some people who would be accepting of me, but i cant come out. like i said, i dont think ill be coming out ever.. but i guess i just really want to talk to someone about life and everything since i feel so alone. so please someone just pm me or something..

[Lost and in love212]

Hi....I'm srry u feel that way......I think that u will soon be ableb to come out....I'm kinda in the same position I have came out to some of my friends but not a lot....I an here if u wanna talk feel free to pm me

[tgordn]

I cant stand being the way that i am. i want to be normal and straight like every other kid i am friends with... it seems like life would be so much easier if i didnt have to deal with this.

[Lost and in love212]

I think that if u told someone or got out of the mind set of that lable gay or bi u wud accept it and not hate it.....life is hard and web u realize that ur gay bi lesbian or transgender its harder.....but it does get better