Wow. We have really similar stories. =/ Even though things suck right now, you have to know that you can't give up. The way you feel isn't your fault, and no matter how much you may feel like you deserve to feel this way, or that you're stuck, you can't give up. Depression is a treatable disease, and I totally get the problems with the parents. I suppose I'm a hypocrite in a way, because i haven't gotten help either, but if i can't help myself, i'd like to help other people at least. I know it's easier said than done, but you should try to explain to your parents somehow. if they don't understand at first, make them understand. if they really care about you, they'll want you to get help. nobody deserves to feel the way you do. feel free to pm me.