I don't know what to do anymore

[xxbrokenxx]

I told my best friend, last night, about everything. I wrote it all out to him. About my suicidal thoughts, about how I felt. I did it because I needed his help. I needed him to listen and help me because I think he's the only one who can help me. It was hard enough reaching out for his help in all of this. There's no way I can really ask anyone else for help that I know, I was fearful enough of his reaction and he already knew about a little of it. So after I told him, he just, made me feel guilty about it. Made me feel guilty about wanting to end my life. He said something along the lines of," I thought I was never going to lose anymore friends (because hed had friends who had just deserted him), but I guess I was wrong."

I don't know what to do. I don't want to be here anymore. I needed his help. I'd never opened up to anyone before. Ever. Especially not like that. And everything he said in his response just made me feel guilty.

I hurt everyone...

[wavesofpain]

FIrst of all you can't blame yourself for how you are feeling, or for how he is reacting. Someone who hasn't felt this way can't possible know how to respond. Simply explain to him that you don't want to leave him, but you need his help to understand why you should live.

If he doesnt listen PM me because I will.