Please someone help me.

[LydiaFallenAngel]

I've only turned 13 recently, I have been bullied since i was 8 by the way I act and used to look, I have so much going on, here's the part of my story I feel comfortable telling you:

As a child i had to grow up too quickly, even though I was called names and hit for years, I had to put it all aside for the sake of my family, these bullies used to call me names, push me around, slap me, punch me, I resulted in ending up with a broken hand to later found out they had done nerve damage, I'd be hit and pushed into lockers in year 7 and end up in hospital with concussion, I'd have rumor spread about my family that I just couldn't take. Truth is I've never been a child, never had a childhood, never been allowed out to play, never taken to Alton towers or out shopping, I have 9 people in my entire family, they are my mum, dad, gran, grandpa, uncle, aunty and 3 cousins. Recently I have had 3 family members die, one of ovarian cancer, one of breast cancer, and one in a motorbike crash. I had to help look after my family, and help out round the house, I've also been quite unwell, I've had many accidents and have a injured back that doesnt allow me to do physical activity for long amounts of time and I've been very ill with viruses, I don't eat, because i can't, it makes me feel terrible unless it's a certain thing I feel comfortable eating, sometimes i will skip lunch, I'm extremely small and to be honest I'm trying to turn my life around and get out of this, my mood changes so quickly, I also slit and am covered in scars.
That's the part of my story I feel comfortable with telling you, I think I'm mentally scarred, I don't know if I can take it anymore. I don't want to die because I dot want to leave my family. But ive considered it many times. I just need someone to talk too.

Best wishes.

Lyd x

[sanfran7]

Lyd thats completely horrible what your going through and there is no reason for anyone to be bullied! I think people who are bullies deserved to rot in hell or in a building where everything they did someone is done to them. Don't blame yourself for what has happened. You need to stand up for yourself and know that you are beautiful and awesome no matter what they say. I use to cut, i use to have an eating disorder. I thought about dieing all the time because my own brother would beat me and choke me when he was drunk. But now, I haven't cut in 8 months and thats quite impressive for someone who did for 4 years. I'm also at a normal weight of 120 again. If you get the point where you want to cut think about how much our hurting your family, think how they would feel if they knew. And when it comes to eating have fun with it. Make up some cool snacks and have friends join you so that way your not alone. If you need someone to talk to i'd love help, you can always throw me a message and i'll respond asap:)

[LydiaFallenAngel]

Thankyou much for replying, yes I'm only small&a child and I can't help but think I have nothing left :/ because in reality I don't, and it's hard to think I have mo one that truly understands me to talk to.

[sanfran7]

There is so much more. Don't give up.
Send me a message if you do want someone to talk to:)

[Trevor]

Aw, but Lyds, you're so pretty! No one can make fun of you for that! And you're so sweet. ^-^ What are they making fun of you for? I bet they are just jealous because they are ugly and mean. -.-
I know what you mean about having to take care of your family. When I was in 8th grade my parents were on drugs. I had to take care of my 2 younger brothers and baby sister. And the 8 cats we had. o.O I had to cook, clean, babysit, ect. It was tiring and I was always glad to finally be able to crawl into bed at night. Except my baby brother or sister (they were 1 & 2 at the time) would cry during the night so I'd have to get up and take care of them. It was exhaustig. Forunately for me, mom and dad got straightened out.
I can't say that I've had any serious illnesses. Except for ost...something that even though I'm 18 I can't spell. Anyways, its a bone disease where your bones become brittle. If I don't take my pills I'll get weak and if someone bumps me or hugs me too tight then my bones will break. Its kind of scary.
Like you, I cut and I have an eating disorder. I hate food. The thought of it makes me sick. Before then I thought I was fat so in 7th grade I stopped eating my lunches and in high school I stopped eating breakfast as well.
I don't think you should die anymore than I should. Otherwise, who would we talk to?

Love,
Trevor

[sanfran7]

Aw that was really sweet Trevor. See Lydia people care about you! I know its hard but keep your head up, the future holds so much things no one knows about. And also Trevor I'm glad to you hear your parents got that all straightened out but just like Lydia, you shouldn't cut yourself either or not eat. If you ever want help or just someone to talk about this send me a message if you want:)

[Trevor]

Thanks Sanfran. ^-^

[sanfran7]

Your welcome, anytime:)

[teddybear13]

my be we can be friends i have been made fun of since i entered pre k and im in 9th now

[LydiaFallenAngel]

Awks when someone changes the post and makes it about them --.- sorry but that's what it sort of felt like then:|

[hendrickgurl07]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know it can be hard, and I also know it can feel like things are never going to get better but they do. I promise you they do. If you ever need anyone to talk to, message me I'll be here for you!