I can't tell you when it will get better, I am in the same boat and the pain is unbearable right? It just doesn't seem worth it anymore not with all the pain. I don't know if this will help you, but it helps me. My mom died when I was 15 and I just concentrate on how horrible that made me feel, about how lost and confused I was. Then I remember that I have a close bond with someone (my twin sis) and it's harder to go through with it. To think that with one decision I can cause my sister to feel the kind of pain I have been feeling for the past 5 years. Think about that with your boyfriend. It might not get better soon, but eventually it will. Believe me I get it, I have been planning my suicide for who knows how long and this time I am serious, but I am still hanging on for that very reason. I can't stand the fact that I would be responsible for that kind of pain in someone's life.