I'm actually in college but my dad has abused me since I was young. Yelling, beating, stepping on me, saying he'll kill me. My mom just blamed me, laughed even. Even when I was sick, they didn't care. After the last threat I left home and told my school. They found me a place to stay and I'm still in school. I thought I'd be fine if I was just away from him but I don't know anymore. I just can't forget it. If I wanted to I guess I could talk to counselors here. But it's just too hard. It's too hard to talk to someone face to face. I told some of my friends and they just don't get it. "But they're your family," they say. But they don't know what it's like to spend their childhood being scared to go home at night. I thought if I didn't tell I'd have a normal life like any other kid. But now I realize how wrong that was. I'm nothing like everyone else. Working two jobs and going to school but I'm miserable. People just see me as quiet or shy, laughable even, and that doesn't make it any easier.
Every conversation, every class, every day is getting to be too hard. I can't be friends with anyone and it's hard to even trust the friends I have. I used to want to be alone because alone was safe, but I can't protect myself from my own thoughts. I keep thinking about killing myself but I wish I didn't have to give up that way. I almost died in an accident two years ago but worked past surgery. What the use if I give up now? But I probably won't be able to graduate college or get a decent job. What's the point? I used to throw myself into school work so I could feel better. As long as I get the right grade...But I don't think I even care anymore.
For any of you that are still kids going through the same thing, please get help soon. Don't wait till you're older. It only gets harder the more you put up with it and the more you hide it. I know it's hard at first but you'll be amazed by how much complete strangers would help you. I just wish I had spoken out sooner so I wouldn't have such a hard time now.