I been reading the forums and its depressing what people go through. I can kind of guess why some people feel the need to humiliated others they have problems, they're hurting, and need to take it out on others. It's a cycle, does that make it okay? No, of course not.
What I don't like is that some people make depression seem something only the weak go through, a cry for attention, or you being selfish. Some families and so called "friends" are unsupportive telling someone to man up, stop being selfish, it's all in your head, or you're the problem and that's nothing compare to this person. Doesn't help. "But I want them to be strong!" I'm sorry it just doesn't.You actually make that person feel worse about themselves. No one is ever the problem and no they're not selfish. The things we say can hurt people and if you're trying to impress someone looking like a complete jackass, well I'm sorry that's just stupid.
I also disagree with suicide being sometimes considered selfish. Some people just don't understand how much pain that person has to go through to feel that suicide is their only escape. Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse if you're doing this to your family member you don't know how horrible it is. I've only experienced verbal abuse and let me tell you its not something you can just forgive and forget. Heck, it cause me a lot of problems and mistakes. Something I'm still trying to fix and oh wow how much I hated myself at times.
Seeing your own Dad insult your mother treat her like shit and then insult you. I seen what it has done to my mom, my brother and me. You know, I haven't gone to school for two years. I should be in 11th grade but I'm still in 9th how pathetic. My dad hasn't stop me from going its my fear of being judged. Social Phobia, cause from all those insults those disencouragements. I mean if your own parent judges you and doesn't accept you how are you going to expect the world to be any different.
I know my dad cares about me and my mother the truth is he's just a hurt little boy deep inside. His parent weren't there for him, his parent judge him, didn't respect him and over all just don't deserve to be parents. He doesn't know how to be supportive or show someone how much you love them. And god knows I'm lying if I say I hate him. I love my dad I need him. I just don't love the way he treats me and my mom. Even if my dad doesn't physically abuse us, verbal abuse is just as bad.
Things might be looking up I think he's starting to change. Who knows talking with my therapist may had help him but, if it hasn't I'll have to give up on him and stop waiting and hoping he'll change. To be honest if it comes to that it'll be hard not having him in my life and yes I'll feel bad for him. I know people go through much worse thing than me but, that doesn't mean what I'm going through shouldn't affect me.
Right now I'm on a online school haven't been doing my work because its so overwhelming and I'm just avoiding it. Not because I don't want to go to school but every time I go on I just feel ashamed that I'm 16 and still in 9th grade. I pretty much insult myself for my mistake but I can't take back those two years.
I think I'd gone a long way, I'm controlling my Social Phobia a lot better now and they're times I forget about it. While school still needs a lot more working on. I'll try my best to not give up on that and prove my dad wrong.
I thank my therapist for being as honest as possible, Blizzard for lovely game of World of Warcraft, my ingame friends for the laughs and being the craziest people I've met, and my mom for being as supportive as she can and while she still mistakes I still love her because I know she's human. Don't think I would had made it this far without them. <3
Sorry I ended up making this thread about me. Anyways, please excuse my very terrible spelling,grammar and the most ugliest of all my writing skills.....
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man. - William Shakespeare