Over and over again.

[map18p]

I met this guy at work over a year ago and straight away we became really close. He has a girl friend and over time we got closer and closer. Then one night after he dropped me home from a party we kissed for ages. He told me his girlfriend and him were having problems and that he'd always liked me and I believed him. A couple of days later he broke up with his girlfriend. And after that we hung out even more we were literally dating. Then after a month of that I found out he'd taken his girlfiend back, he'd pretty much used me for a month. I'd never been so hurt in my life but he made everything out to be my fault, I forgave him over and over again, I told myself I hated him but deep down I missed him so much. His girlfriend eventually found out about us and things got really bad, one night I got an abusive phone call from both of them saying how much they wished I was dead and that I was an ugly mole. I had never felt so sick in my life. Days went by and I couldnt stop thinking about him and how much i missed him then one day he messaged me telling me he missed me and that he cant stop thinking of the past and everything we had and did. He's still going out with his girlfriend but wants to meet up again soon (I can tell he wants it all to happen again) he tells me no one will find out this time. It's killing me because I miss him so much and I always crawl back to him no matter what he does, he then gets what he wants and leaves me with nothing. I know its nothing big but I cant talk to anyone about it... I'm scared I'll give in again and it'll happen again and I'll end up losing my friends (because they hate him so much) and self respect. I know I deserve better but for more than a second he makes me feel wanted... 

[giveitachance]

hello! unfortunately, i was in a situation exactly like yours BUT fortunately, i can hopefully help! what you need to understand is that this guy will never change, every single you will end up getting hurt so you NEED TO STAY STRONG. do not go back to him, no matter how much you miss him or how much you THINK you need/want to because believe me, it is not worth it. each time you go back to him it just shows him that he can use you whenever, which takes away your self respect and happiness. most importantly, you not only have to prove to him how strong you are, but also prove yourself. you can do it! i know its scary and its really hard, but its something that needs to be done. hanging onto him and continually giving in to him is pushing yourself further away from another guy who might fall in love with you and treat you right because believe it or not, when this guy is involved in your life, i'm sure it shows on the outside too. next time he messages you or asks you to hang out or says he misses you (i know you dont want to hear this, but tell yourself you know its a lie), delete the message, occupy yourself and don't think about him. remember how bad you feel afterwards and use that to force yourself not to go with him. he's playing you and also, who wants a guy who cheats on his girlfriend.. even if they're having problems? that means he's untrustworthy and unfaithful, if you guys ever got together, he'd do the same thing. you'll be okay without him, trust me, you'll actually be so much better (:

[map18p]

Thank you so much, you really have no idea how much reading that helps! Wow absolutely everything you said was true, thats EXACTLY how I feel. I know I'm strong enough to do it and like you said, it'll be hard but I know I can do it. Finally hearing from someone who knows exatly what I'm going through is so comforting, thank you from the bottom of my heart

[Drummergrl]

I know exactly how you feel the same exact situation happened to me and he kept coming back and wanted it to happen again and would start talking to me and hurting me over and over again. I still think about him and It gets me upset everything I lost him and he was my best friend and now we don't even talk because his girl friend told me all these mean things he barely even looks at me but I think he is trying to flirt with me now I always catch him looking at me. but I can't do toagain. You just have to be strong and forget about him. Try not to think about him. It's best for you to stay away from him. If you show him that you are weAj and still think and like him he will use you again and then just take off again.

[giveitachance]

you're welcome from the bottom of my heart! i am SO glad it helped