I've had troubles with the relationship from the start.
Classmates would tease and say, "don't date him, he's so emo"
His ex-girlfriend would warn me that he may be a little more that you can handle
My sister would say "he's not your type"
My mother would say "he's not your type, he's not Chinese, and he's stupid"
For over a year I stuck to the relationship. Here is a wonderful, capable guy who is kind, compassionate, sensitive, trusting, caring, puppy-loving, movie-watching, truck-driving guy who might as well be prince charming.
However, he is needy. I'm needy too, but as a guy, his needs are more than emotional which is sometimes hard to believe because he's a pretty emotional guy too. He doesn't cry. He just gives me the silent treatment a lot.
He's joining the Marine Corps. And I moved away for college. So we continued our relationship for more than half a year when I finally ended it. We couldn't stop fighting. I couldn't stop getting angry with everything he said.
I would go on rages and text him the most hurtful things anyone could say to someone. I insulted his past, his family, his manhood. I'm like Macbeth's wife.
A couple of days ago, something he said triggered another rage. And so I told him to "get the f*** out of my f*** life".
Now, he's beyond "emo". He's been self-destructive before, and I'm scared he'll do that again.
As an abusive ex-girlfriend, I'm scared of getting in contact with him. Most likely, I'll make matters worse, but no one else would help him. He even drank himself into a stupor one day and got big by one of his friend's dog and needed to get 9 stitches at the hospital even though he has no medical insurance.
I can't focus on school or work, not knowing if he's okay.
Usually, I'm overreacting, and he's just sitting on the couch playing video games or watching t.v. but he's 300 miles away and he won't answer my calls.
My guts tell me to just let him go and stop caring about him, but a part of me wants to just drop everything and go down there and see if he's all right.