bleeding.. and only awaiting more..

[emptyfields]

i really cant handel this anymore.. noone iv tried to get help from understands, they dont take me serious about suicide and harming myself... i just want all thies feelings gone, i wish my mind would only silence itself i need it to stop or just hurt physicly insed of mentely.. atleast it helps calm me down from suicide right?.. atleast tonight i will be able to sleep atleast for a few hours...

[onlyme]

Dear Emptyfields:

No, cutting/burning/self harm only works for a little while. I have been a cutter since age 7 (now 20) they started small, then my cut would heal and I would have to again, and then again. One day my cutting stopped working, that same day I tried to commit suicide….

My point is that its temporary… like you said you would sleep tonight, but what about tomorrow…?

Plus scars are ugly and I never know what to say when someone asks me about my big one…

I hope to God you never develop a dissociative disorder like I have. I fight it every day. Feeling pain emotionally and physically is the only way we stay human… its also the only way we can love…

I advise you to seek help, but from someone you trust… A counselor or family doctor may put you in a hospital, but that might be what you need, so you can get a handle on your thoughts before they become ANYMORE harmful to you. It was put to me like this. Our thoughts become our actions: our actions become our habits: our habits become our thoughts. (if that makes sense to you)…. A counselor or even online you can find many different alternatives to stop cutting. Like clinching ice in your hand as long as you can.. (my favorite) rubber band pop yourself every time you think about it, draw where you want to cut (which i don't recommend) and many others…

Best of luck to you, emptyfields, you will get through this

[emptyfields]

thank you.