I don't know...

[rockerchick1993]

I don't know if this is an eating disorder or if I'm developing one or what. But last week, I didn't eat at all for like two days. Well, I chewed some food up and spat it out. And then the second night, I gave into half a burger and some fries.
The third day, I hardly ate, other than chewing and spitting food out. Oh, and also, I had a little bit of chicken pot pie that night.
Fourth day, Saturday, I took way too much on to eat. I got sick that night. Really sick.
I could barely eat yesterday. Today, I've eaten...a pretty good amount.
Anyway, last Tuesday night, I did about 100 push ups and jogged in place.
I continued to do 100 push-ups (Except for friday, saturday, and yesterday) and/or jog in place.
Most of the time, I'd at least do the 100 push-ups.
Anyway, tonight I did 200 push-ups.
I feel fat and ugly and disgusting.
And honestly, I don't know what to do.
I just don't know if I'm going to end up eating like I did last week.
I know this was probably a waste to publish on here, it probably doesn't even matter at all.
And I'm really sorry if I shouldn't have put it in this topic board.
I just wish I wasn't so fat and ugly and disgusting.
And I kind of want to disappear right about now.
I don't know though.
i feel icky and gross. and like the only way to get it off is exercise.
A lot of times lately, all I can think about is exercise.
It, I don't know.
Someone...does anyone know where I'm coming from?
I feel gross and icky and disgusting.
And like I shouldn't need food because I feel like I'm supposed to be the perfect.

[sadgirlallway]

you should tell a doctor about it and see if they can help

[rockerchick1993]

my parents are always with me when i go to a doctor. Thank you so much for the advice. But I don't think I can use it.

[emmarichard]

I know exactly how you feel, and have gone through the same things. And sometimes it returns.
It really helped me to tell my friends. It was sooooo hard to do, because i thought no one would understand me and think i was making it up for attention. Or that they wouldnt beleive me becuase im not really skinny. But it wasnt like that at all.
They told me they loved me and supported me. I do admit, that it was really tough. I heard a lot of "its unhealthy, you have to eat!!!! eat or im gonna be mad." and that did not help. I'm assuming you already know the negetive impacts of anorexia and bulemia. But when you're going through it all you can think of is getting skinnier, being that "perfect" girl.
I still have struggles, and stop eating sometimes. I dont know the magic answer to getting better, and personally I dont think I will ever get over it completely. But I do know what helps me and I hope it helps you.
Do things that make you truly happy. Exersice, hang out with friends, persue a goal yo have always wanted.
I found out a lot about myself, when I started questioning my eating disorder. I found out I wasnt as happy as I htought I was, and started dong things that would define me and make ME happy.
I cut my hair, got clothes I liked. Not stuff other people would like. I joined school organizations. I even signed up for a volunteer trip to africa. And spent hours and days fundraising.
I am leaving for my trip tommorow, and have never been happier and more comfortable with myself in my whole life.
Private message me anytime
I hope i helped....

[Zoey1996]

that is not healthy try eating small snacks troughout the day and find a better way to control ur weight but dont do this because u feel gross everyone hates something about themselves but this not the way to go

[rockerchick1993]

can't stop. it's an on and off thing....and i'm depressed right now.back to pills and more cutting. and shit i just ate a sandwich...... why???????? ugh.

[Gamegal119]

surprisingly, nao i want to combine ur troubles and anothers' advice: working hard at things i like and eating less gradually. X( it sounds awful but it might just work...

[real answers]

use nowloss.com/50

[Gamegal119]

is it free?

And OMGG, I just cleaned out 1/2 a loaf of bread with snack sandwiches!!! XC I'm so hungry a lot...it doesn't help that I have a year-long crush on some1 who rejected me but accepts me as a friend...and all the stress im under all the time. -_- Ima pig...

[real answers]

if your taliking about nowloss .com yes it is free and its awsome im aactually using it right now and guess what you can ask for some workout dvds and their free two the guy who owns the website even pays for the shipping! oh you can also find that you can see how to lose 50 pounds in 5 months (why five months? because its the healthy way and no yo yo effects) he will tell you want to eat how many caories to burn everything you need to know

[Gamegal119]

Danke! ill try it.