i cant help it

[LCThomas]

soo ive been going through alot lately and have been having super horrible thoughts..there are so many times i just want to kill myself, but here lately ive been replacing those feelings through other self harm. I havent been eating, or if i eat i throw up, sometimes its not on purpose, sometimes i get so sick to my stomach about whats going on around me that it maked me sick...literally! I know i need help but my parents are big time christians andi feel like i cant tell them anything thats going on with me or they will condem me...i do nt know what to do...help?!

[mangalover211]

I was having the same problems a couple months ago. My parents are also really strong Christians. Because they are, they make me go to youth group. in a way, I ended up telling the youth group leader's wife, she read my diary/journal since i left it for 5 minutes, and asked me to stay and talk that night. I explained what had been going on, and not only felt better but also got help. I would say that if you feel like you can't tell your parents, could you tell your friend (assuming you have a close one) or if there is a counselor where you work/go to school/whatever&where-ever you are, tell him/her and they can really help. The counselor at my school helped my friend when she confessed to being suicidal.

[LCThomas]

I've tried but it seems anyone i try to tell breaks my trust or judges me....and the only person i could trust (my ex) isnt there for me anymore so idk i feel so alone...i guess ill get through it alone...but thanks for your response..i just wish at times like these my mom wasnt such a dead beat and could be here for me....

[Alex Tabat]

Well, one thing is for sure...and I've had this problem as well...
It's super hard to get yourself to trust more people when you have been neglected time and time again...I promised myself I would never trust people again....
Then I suffered a horrible loss...it's still too hard to talk about...
I had nobody to speak with...and all of my original thoughts of taking my life, and self-mutilation, and everything else bad - it all came back to me...
I was forced to allow myself to try again because I knew that I didn't want to be holding there again...I am so thankful that I tried...who knows where I would be if I didn't...
This time was the first time in over 9 years that I had felt someone cared and wanted to help...and even that one 9 years ago didn't last...it was just a feeling...
You can never stop trying to find someone who will help.

The pressure definitely gets added too when you can't speak to your parents...I still can't...
Like the above post, if you have a youth group leader, maybe speak to him/her about it...If you don't feel comfortable with that person, find someone who you do - don't stop looking.
The problems that you are facing have a source to them, and the only way to really help make things ease is to figure out the root of the problem.
Talking to someone else helps get to that root - doing it yourself is too hard.
If you can't think of anyone, feel free to message me.
I will never judge you...I know too much what it's like not to have anyone...
Hope to talk soon, and hope things get better.

[LCThomas]

wow..thank you..your post really opened my eyes..it is hard and its even harder when you dont trust people anymore, and feel alone, and believe me ive had a loss of my own recently..well two actually! so thank you so much for opening up and helping me!

[Alex Tabat]

I'm glad that my post was able to help you. I actually just got back from another funeral and was feeling really down. Reading your post cheered me up a bit - Thanks a ton.
Definitely feel free to message me/just keep in touch.
Your awesome - thanks

[LCThomas]

Welll im glad my post could cheer you up a bit:) and thank your awesome as well:)