As bad as this is to read and even hear. Coming from experience of anorexia and other eating disorders, you will always think about your weight. No matter how hard you try to forget, you will always wonder. You just have to know the difference from healthy and not healthy. You are relapsing, from what you have listed and described. The best thing for you to do is to eat, even when you don't want to. Eat. If you are offered food, eat it. You don't have to eat all of it, even just a few small bites will do you some good. Please, try. I may not of been very helpful but at least try.